Treat Yourself, For Real This Time: The Importance of Taking Breaks
In a world that’s constantly moving at full speed, where the idea of sitting still for five minutes feels like a luxury, taking a break can seem impossible. We’ve all heard it before—“You need to rest!”—but actually doing it? That’s a different story, especially for people who often feel like they’re holding everything together. We juggle a thousand tasks, wear multiple hats, and are always thinking about the next thing that needs our attention.
But here’s the thing: rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. And no, it’s not selfish. Taking a break doesn’t just make you feel good; it actually helps your brain, your body, and your soul function better.
Before I jump into this and you think I am trying to be another GOOP-style influencer, I want to recognise how privileged rest is for many people. In this article, I want to approach rest as something we can gift ourselves, not just in ways like a holiday or a spa-day that capitalism seems to tout as A+ versions of rest. I recognise most people are not in a position to just drop their responsibilities to rest, so I think it’s time we approach rest a bit differently.
I also want to note that this entry is just the tip of the iceberg to integrating rest into your life. I will keep writing more on this very important topic.
So, if you’re reading this thinking, “I really should take more breaks, but I never seem to get the chance,” then this post is for you. Let's dive into why breaks are so important and how you can make them happen—without feeling guilty about it, all while fitting them into the life of a normal person.
The Struggle Is Real: Why We Don’t Rest (And Why We Should)
Let’s be real: it’s hard to slow down. Especially for women and caregivers, who are often conditioned to do it all, be it at work, at home, or in their social circles. We’re expected to be the doers, the problem-solvers, and the anticipators for people around us. Rest feels like something that has to be earned, something to be squeezed in-between real responsibilities.
But here’s the kicker: if you don’t make time for breaks, you’ll eventually burn out—and then you’ll be no good to anyone, including yourself. The truth is, the longer you go without resting, the more your body and mind will start to protest.
Humans just aren’t designed to be busy at all times. All the things that make us interesting and good come from our ability to be creative and to love. Many people would argue that some of humanity’s best work came from moments of rest, leisure, and boredom.
These things are very hard when we feel overworked, overwhelmed, and overstimulated. In fact, our brain may just not let us connect and create when we are not resting.
We all need rest. Taking breaks isn’t about neglecting your responsibilities; it’s about honoring yourself so you can show up as your best self. To be loving, to be present, to be creative, and to live a life of contentment, we need to find ways to integrate breaks and rest into our worlds.
So, let’s start unpacking how we can make small changes that actually feel good and are accessible, no matter your circumstances.
Polyvagal Theory: Your Body’s Built-In Reset Button
You’ve probably heard of the “fight or flight” response, but there’s more to our nervous system than just reacting to stress. Polyvagal Theory, created by Dr. Stephen Porges, tells us that our bodies are wired to respond to stress and danger, but we also have an innate ability to switch gears into a state of calm and relaxation.
Porges claims that our calming state is regulated by the vagus nerve, which acts as a reset button for your nervous system. The challenge? When we’re constantly in “go mode,” we forget that we have this reset button. We’re living in a near-constant state of stress—firing up our sympathetic nervous system (the one that says “run!”) and forgetting to take time to activate the parasympathetic system (the “rest and digest” system).
When we take breaks, we’re allowing our bodies to reset. We’re giving our nervous system a chance to shift from high stress to peaceful calm. And while you may not be able to escape to a massage table to unwind (though that would be nice), little things like deep breathing or stretching can send the message to your body that it’s time to relax. In other terms, you can let the protective troops take a break from patrolling for danger.
Vocalistion can be a helpful action to try and bring into your day when you’re feeling levels of stress. A simple trick I like is humming. The vagus nerve runs behind our vocal chords, and singing and humming can gently stimulate it. If I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, I hum while I am cooking, tidying, or driving. Singing in the car is another great one for car commuters to release some tension, find some joy, and make a mundane task fun. You might also find that singing lyrics will give you a break from ruminating thoughts and worries.
I know this doesn’t sound like rest, but I would argue we have to work our way up to success with a new state, and rest is included. If we’re not used it, we need to start somewhere. So maybe for you, that’s singing along to the radio.
Quick Tip: Try a deep-breathing exercise to kickstart your relaxation. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, then exhale slowly for 6-8 seconds. Repeat. This simple exercise activates the vagus nerve and helps to lower your stress levels. Find what feels good (thanks, Adrienne) and gift yourself a few calming breaths
Mindfulness: The Art of Doing Nothing (On Purpose)
Mindfulness is all about being present, in the moment, without judgment. And while the concept of “doing nothing” might sound like a challenge to our overachieving minds, mindfulness teaches us that being present can be incredibly restorative.
Instead of thinking about everything you should be doing or the million thoughts buzzing around your head, mindfulness invites you to just be. It’s like hitting the pause button for your mind. You don’t need to meditate for hours or achieve enlightenment; even just a few minutes of mindfulness can make a huge difference.
What most people will find hard about being mindful is that they are so programmed now to not let their mind just wander, be bored, and not be entertained by something.
It will likely feel really uncomfortable at first to just sit with yourself, your emotions, and your own thoughts. You may really have to slowly and intentionally bring mindfulness into your day.
If you have time in your day where you are mindlessly doom scrolling, you also have some time to flex your mindfulness skills. To me this is the perfect replacement activity for scrolling which activates a completely different area of our brain.
Try a mindful breathing and noticing practice the next time you need a quick break. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how it feels to inhale and exhale, and let any distracting thoughts gently pass by, like clouds in the sky.
If closing your eyes doesn’t feel safe, or you are lucky enough to be close to nature, try just watching the clouds or the breeze through the garden/flowers/grass. Try to just be, breathe, and notice what this experience is like. No matter what you feel or experience, do not watch with judgement. Let these feelings and thoughts flow by you as though you were standing in a river of them.
This kind of practice helps you anchor yourself in the present moment, breaking the cycle of constant “doing.” Devoting 1 minute each day is a realistic starting place for most of us. Our mind is a muscle, and mindfulness is a mini-workout. Keep it up, and it will get easier over time to take a pause like this practice encourages.
Self-Compassion: Because You Deserve It
Let’s be honest: sometimes, the hardest part about resting is allowing ourselves to do it. Women, in particular, often struggle with self-compassion. We’re taught to put others first, to be the caregivers, the problem-solvers. Resting can feel like we’re being selfish, like we’re letting someone down or not doing enough.
But self-compassion is a radical act of self-love. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness, care, and understanding that you’d offer a friend. When you practice self-compassion, you acknowledge that rest isn’t a reward for being “good enough”—it’s a necessity for being human. You deserve to take breaks, to relax, and to recharge, without feeling like you’re falling short.
Here’s a quick exercise to practice self-compassion during breaks: Next time you feel guilty about resting, pause and say to yourself, “I’m doing the best I can, and I deserve this time to rest and recharge.” Speaking to ourselves is something most of us do, and it can be really nourishing changing how that voice may sound.
Remind yourself that you’re a human, not a machine, and that taking breaks is not only okay—it’s vital.
Practical Strategies to Get Your Rest
Let’s face it: life as a woman can be hectic. But that doesn’t mean you can’t carve out moments of peace. Here are a few simple and realistic strategies to help you make time for rest—without the guilt.
Schedule It (Yes, Really): Here’s the trick: schedule rest like it’s a meeting. Block off 10–15 minutes each day for a break. Treat it like any important task in your day - give it your full attention and care.
Create a Rest Ritual: Whether it’s lighting a candle, listening to your favourite song, or sipping tea, create a small ritual around rest. This helps signal to your brain that it’s time to unwind. Make it something enjoyable that you look forward to.
Unplug and Reconnect with Yourself: Disconnect from screens and digital distractions during your rest. Put down your phone, step away from the computer, and give your mind a break from the constant flow of information. If you can, you may step outside or walk around the block.
Take a “Mini-Vacation”: No need for an elaborate getaway (and for some of us, this wouldn’t feel like rest!). Sometimes a mini-vacation can mean taking an afternoon or hour to yourself—no plans, no obligations, just pure relaxation. Try to find something to get you in that flow state - a walk, a good book, or listening to that album all the way through.
Rest Is Essential, Not Optional
You can expect I will keep coming back to this topic and hopefully dive a bit deeper into some of the barriers out there for rest to really occur. I know there are many layers, and so I hope you come back to think about these with me. I needed somewhere to start, and this is where I am beginning. Taking breaks is more than just a nice idea; it’s a key component of maintaining your health and well-being. So let’s keep returning to this conversation.
Finally please remember, you are not a machine. You are a human being, deserving of breaks and time to recharge. So, let’s make a pact: we’re going to take time for ourselves, in the ways we are able, without guilt or hesitation.
You really do deserve it, but more importantly, you need it. Take a break today. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you.